Do you find yourself ever wishing it was “the day”? You know, the day of a special event, trip, or something else exciting. Or maybe you find yourself wishing about the past-wishing you could go back to a day when your children were younger or maybe wishing your children were a little older, past the stage they are currently in that is driving you crazy.
Sometimes I feel like I am just wishing my life away, always looking for the next “big thing” that is happening in life or just wishing it was past the busy part of the week. Then I feel awful. Realizing I have just wished away the precious time that I have. I need to learn to live more in the moment and not live like each day is a task to be crossed off the to do list. I need to take time to “smell the roses” and to appreciate the time I have with my family and friends.
I realize I need to chill out about the daily routine a little. I probably need to pass on some more of the responsibilities around the house to the kids also. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the kids for just being kids because they are making more work for me to do. You know, like jumping in puddles and getting all wet and dirty. Most people would look at them and think-“oh, what fun they are having. Oh, to be young again!” Me, the first thing that comes to my mind is-“Oh crap! Look at the laundry I have to do now, you know that is going to get tracked into the house, baths before lunch is a must now, etc…” How wrong is that! They are kids, that’s what kids are supposed to do! I know someday I will look back and think, “why did I get so bent out of shape, I wish I had those days back.” The days will come where no one will trash the room I just cleaned. The vacuum lines will stay in the carpet for more than 2 minutes. There won’t be as much laundry. There won’t be food all over the floor after every meal. I will wish there was someone here to leave fingerprints on the glass of the front door and on the windows. I won’t have to hang out in the kitchen or bathroom because it is the last room I cleaned and I want to enjoy it before I go into the living room that was just cleaned but now destroyed again because they decided to play “store” and have drug everything back out and then some. So, yes, I will hang out in the bathroom for a little bit-just looking at the sink and counter top, admiring the toothpaste smear-free view (it’s the little things in life).
I find myself looking at my kids and wondering where the time went, how did they get so big and my baby is certainly not a baby anymore. Maybe it’s because (as far as we know) we are not having any more children, and I know in the back of my mind that as our youngest grows and ages, this may be the last time I get to do those certain parental tasks/activities with her that one doesn’t need to do when they get older. It is kinda sad.
Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to see where life takes us in the next chapter-past the baby phase. I don’t miss having to planning the day around baby’s feeding schedule, or nap time, or bed time (we still try to keep this but life doesn’t fall apart if we are late getting there). I don’t miss having to lug that diaper bag everywhere we went. Making sure it was stocked and had everything we may need-it was like getting another member of the family ready to go out the door!
I am liking that when we go places to visit people, I can actually sit down and have conversations (with adults!) while the children play nearby-I don’t need to be the toddler’s shadow -following her around, making sure she is ok and safe.
I am enjoying that they are more independent, yet I am mourning not being needed. (yes, I know I can’t have it both ways) I just wish I would have appreciated it more at the time than sometimes resenting it and wishing they were past that stage.
So, I am going to try to stop wishing our lives away and waiting for the future and I will try to be more present in life and with our family and will try to enjoy or at least appreciate even the trying times in life.
